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Daily Gut: ACORN: The Movie
Posted by Greg Gutfeld in ACORN, Entertainment, Hannah Giles, michael moore on September 18th, 2009
So when two scrappy DC journalists bring down a President, it’s turned into “All the President’s Men,” winning accolades and Oscars. When an unemployed single mother of three takes the fight to an energy giant, it becomes a blockbuster vehicle for Julia Robert’s cleavage. And when a former Vice President exposes man’s inhumanity toward Mother Earth – “An Inconvenient Truth” crowns him the most majestic whistle blower ever.
But when two amateur journalists (in their early twenties, poorly dressed as sex workers, with under two grand in their budget) casually take down a sleazy behomoth that leeches off American taxpayers, you’d think Hollywood and the media would be all over this. I mean, what Hannah Giles and James O’Keefe did to Acorn – leading to the House approving to cut off all their funding – is the whistle blowing film to end ALL whistle blowing films. These two kids did what Michael Moore could never come close to accomplishing: uncovering lurid incompetence, affecting policy, and saving Americans millions of dollars.
So where is Clooney? Soderberg? Moore? Shouldn’t Megan Fox be playing Hannah – with Daniel Radcliffe as O’Keefe? When Red Eye makes an appearance, will I be played by Verne Troyer?
Or am I just engaging in fantasy? I mean, movies and fawning media pieces about whistle blowers only work if the media dislikes the targeted entity. Seriously, if ACORN wasn’t a left-wing outfit – but Fox News, how fast would Oliver Stone be slobbering over the script? Hell, he could just make that change in the script anyway, and still call it “historically accurate.” I’m sure none of the critics would mind.
Finally, check out the latest Washington Post article, detailing the ACORN scandal. In it, they focus a bit on Hannah Giles’s dad. Weird, huh? Do you think they would have done the same thing to Woodward or Bernstein? “Screw this Watergate thing! I bet Carl’s dad is a lib!”
Not likely.
Tonight we’ve got Mike Baker! Ann Coulter! Jill Dobson! Ned Rice!
Daily Gut: Our 600th Show
Posted by Greg Gutfeld in Featured Story on September 17th, 2009
So tonight`s show is Red Eye`s 600th.
And that’s kind of amazing. I`ve never done 600 of anything – and that includes reverse tricep curls (which I invented, by the by). But from the day we began, on February 5th, 2007 to tonight –we`ve witnessed some pretty amazing events. And thankfully, Red Eye was there to cover them – when no one else would.
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I mean, who can forget the dog that barked like a cat? It was the story Katie Couric wouldn`t touch – but we were there – covering the dog that barked like a cat.
And what of our in-depth coverage of John McCain`s election sweaters? While everyone else focused on irrelevant issues, we asked the tough questions about those ugly sweaters.
Hell, while people chose to examine Barack Obama’s qualifications, we were the first show to reveal startling photos of an octopus that could open beer bottles with its tentacles. You tell me: what`s more important, now?
And then there was the man who had sex with a table. And the man who had sex with a car. And the man who had sex with balloons. Whenever a man was having sex with an inanimate object, Red Eye was there to bear witness. And sometimes take pictures.
And who can forget the nude car thief, the nude ice skater, and the nude rambler? When it came to stories about nude people doing things nude, Red Eye was the go-to source. If there were a Pulitzer for the perverse, we would have won that trophy. And ended up in the ER, trying to get it removed.
Of course, we covered bigger stories, and at times we were way ahead of the pack – the piece on the German underwear thief springs to mind – but I prefer that Red Eye not take itself too seriously on this momentous occasion. Instead, I would rather salute all our amazing fans, who stood by this unusual little show – when everyone else just stared at it, confused – or ran screaming.
You deserve the congratulations – not us.
And if you disagree with me, you`re probably a racist Nazi who`s worse than Hitler.
Daily Gut: The Man Who Cried
Posted by Greg Gutfeld in Obama on September 16th, 2009
Now, you know a word has lost all meaning when Jimmy Carter finally gets around to saying it.
America’s angriest has-been JUST HAD to weigh in on the Joe Wilson affair, linking it to inherent racism – following in the wispy footsteps of every other lefty blogger.
Check it out, check it outers: (roll tape)
Carter, who I’m now convinced is really Maureen Dowd in a fright mask, seems to ignore the fact that even the White House doesn’t see the racism he sees. This is what Robert Gibbs had to say: (roll tape)
Instead of enjoying the golden years of his life, President Peanut still feels compelled to remind us why he sucked as a leader. He’s just a bitter man who always saw America as part of the problem, never the solution. So even when America elects a black man as President – the act only masks a more sinister urge.
Remember when Eric Holder said it was time for America to talk frankly about racism?
Well, the time has come – and for the left, that “frank” talk boils down to this: we’re all racists.
End of discussion.
And that makes me think – if we all agree with the Dowd’s and the Carter’s of the world, will they finally stop their race whining, and move on to more important things? I doubt it. If anything, once we say we’re all racists – they’ll probably say we just don’t mean it. And then they’ll accuse us of double secret racism. The hypocrisy in all this? There are far more racists among the race-baiters. I mean, you can’t get more racist than hating black conservatives just because they’re black.
Look, let me state the obvious. President Obama won. That wouldn’t happen in a racist country. Not only did he win, but he enjoys widespread good faith among people like me who didn’t vote for him. I admit I find his message to be as wrongheaded at times as Carter’s- but Obama seems like a genuinely good guy.
Especially, when he called Kanye West a jackass.
I’d like him even more if he’d say the same thing about Carter.
And if you disagree with me, then you’re probably a racist.
Daily Gut: Signs
Posted by Greg Gutfeld in Politics on September 15th, 2009
So if there was one thing I learned from the coverage of those big protests last weekend, it’s that signs matter.
See, when the media covers an event they don’t really want to understand, they will focus on the protester’s placards. But as a regular, long-term consumer of all things media (and fiber), I cannot recall this ever happening with the media coverage of the WTO protests, the NOW marches, the no-nuke concerts, the anti-war demonstrations. If I remember correctly (and regular use of Ambien has made it a challenge), the media instead chose to focus on the heroic faces of the protesters. Often, these folks would be huddled together, holding a candle, singing “Give Peace A Chance,” or something equally annoying. Fact is, they were young, heroic, speaking truth to power – so who cares if the signs were offensive: that reality would only undermine the ideal. That’s why you never saw them.
To me, most of the sillier signs this weekend didn’t reflect idiocy, but inexperience. I’m willing to bet nearly all of these folks had never been to a march before, unless it involved Dimes. Which is why the event resembled a picnic, not a protest. Sure, there were some tacky signs, but they were usually held by tacky people who sport more buttons than friends. And the fact is, leftist protesters have had far more experience doing this sort of thing, so they know the drill. They know when to cry, and when to raise a fist(after smashing a chair through a Starbucks window).
Finally, you media types who call these folks crackpots need to realize you’re only doing so because to them, you’re irrelevant. They no longer need you. Those protesters believe in the individual over the system, small over big government, private versus public. They don’t believe in you.
Granted, however, I’ve been known to call people who disagree with me – the Garafalo’s, the Olbermann’s – crazy, too.
But I’m right.
And if you disagree with me, you’re probably a racist.


